The Harsh Side of "Family Comes First"

As humanity progresses, conflicts and wars emerge among different groups of people, leading to chaos and instability in society. A primary example of these conflicts is the rise of white supremacist groups such as the Ku Klux Klan near the end of the nineteenth century, which spread racial discrimination against the African American population. Motivated to protect their white “family,” these supremacist groups murdered and tortured thousands of African Americans.

A half-century later, this incentive to benefit one’s family led to Adolf Hitler, the infamous German dictator, orchestrating the deaths of over six million Jewish people to fortify his Nazi “family.” Even though this hostility and racism are uncommon in today’s society, humans still live under the adage, “Family comes first.” In brief, this principle dictates that people should value their families above all other aspects of their life. In the twenty-first century, many parents follow this principle and force their kids to indulge in an excessive academic workload while disregarding their children’s opinions. Despite these parents’ motives to benefit their children, these kids do not feel appreciative of their parents’ tactics. Rather, these children are deniedunpermitted freedom of choice and grow to have a sense of animosity towards their parents. In other words, both history and modern times exemplify the detriments of valuing family above other aspects of life.

Although the proverb, “Family comes first,” encourages loyalty to one’s family above all else, this adage causes humans to pursue exploitation, false happiness, and immorality; thus, humans should not live in accordance with this fundamental truth.

Nevertheless, “Family comes first” appears to be a beneficial principle in developing and connecting a family, but this sense of intimacy forces one to exploit members of their household. To specify, humans manipulate their family members and generate fake happiness to sustain their families. Is deceiving a family’s content to benefit them justifiable? The answer is no.

Ultimately, false happiness separates a family. Likewise, in All My Sons, by twentieth-century American playwright, Arthur Miller, Joe Keller murders twenty-one pilots during World War 2 by permitting a shipment of defective airplane parts to support his family, and he hides this truth from his son, Chris. As a result, Chris remains happy with his father, but once the truth is revealed, the Keller family inevitably falls apart. During the rising action of the play, Joe’s wife, Kate, proclaims, “He loved you, Joe, you broke his heart” (Miller 426). Joe then responds, “For you, Kate, for both of you, that’s all I ever lived for” (Miller 426). Because Joe values his family’s content over honesty, he unknowingly exploits Chris.

Furthermore, Chris’s happiness throughout the play is artificial because his father’s lighthearted nature illudes him, and he was unaware of his true identity. In other words, Joe’s initial motives to maintain unity within his family force him to falsify his son’s content. Due to this reason, Chris reacts raspingly and tears the Kellers apart, displaying that the fundamental truth, “Family comes first,” separates members in a household.

Similarly, in “Chinese Mothers are Superior,” an article by Amy Chua, a “Chinese Tiger Mother,” Chua exemplifies the strategies that Chinese mothers use for their children’s welfare. These mothers wanting the best for their children, they demand excellence in academics and music while exploiting their kids to do so. When talking about her daughter, Lulu, Amy explains her tactics: “I told her to stop being lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic… That night, she came to sleep in my bed, and we snuggled and hugged, cracking each other up” (Chua 5).

Amy exploits Lulu in this situation because she verbally oppresses her daughter in the beginning. More specifically, Amy traumatizes Lulu, but after she is successful in performing a task, her daughter fills up with joy. Furthermore, this happiness is synthetic because Lulu is intimidated and abused to attain that satisfaction, deviating from true pleasure and joy. Additionally, this happiness is short-term as ChuaAmy constantly mistreats Lulu. In the end, this exploitation causes separation within family members, displaying that “Family comes first” is a harmful adage to follow.